the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize