i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
