And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
