i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize