the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
