Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
