just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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