I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
