I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
