I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
