Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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