My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
