And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
