and she was petting her beer can
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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