That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Vodka?
Forever.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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