She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
