as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
