I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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