Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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