doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
