god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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