Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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