Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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