herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think your dad took our porno
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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