Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
