I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
