two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
