There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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