about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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