Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize