Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I believe in your delicious
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
