Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
