i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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