All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
im holly from the hills drunk
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
