I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
