New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
How does one acquire holy water?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
