Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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