So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
