it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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