Your tits are I can't wait for
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
