Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
