So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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