I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
