for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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