ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
