mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
