I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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