This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
