i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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