I love black thongs
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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