Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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