i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
