My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize