you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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