dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize