Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
two words...techno handjob
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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