It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
