i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
