these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
